


the shadows creep and want grows stronger

by lostinthesounds



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-20
Updated: 2019-03-20
Packaged: 2019-11-25 21:02:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,823
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18171437
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lostinthesounds/pseuds/lostinthesounds
Summary: Bellamy doesn't understand why his hits are slower, weaker, less effective as he keeps trying to fight off more and more Eligius prisoners. It finally makes sense when his breathing starts to slow down, and his body hits the floor before he even had the chance to realize that he was the one who got shot.OR— Bellamy gets shot, and his only focus is on Clarke when he wakes up from being unconscious when his girlfriend is right next to him.





	the shadows creep and want grows stronger

**Author's Note:**

> Practically wrote this fic in two hours. 
> 
> It’s dedicated to my lovely friends named Chia and Nicole, who I got inspired from to put some ideas down! I hope you both enjoy <3

_"Come to me in the night hours, I will wait for you and I can't sleep cause thoughts devour, thoughts of you consume. I can't help but love you even though I try not to."_

**_Ruelle - War Of Hearts_ **

 

* * *

 

_The Shadows Creep And The Want Grows Stronger_

 

 

Bellamy doesn't remember a lot at first. 

 

The memories flood his brain in waves, consistent and occurring. He isn't strong enough to open his eyes, letting the darkness consume his every thought as he feels a weight settle on every muscle and bone in his body. He wasn't there yet, his will to survive was weak, but he fights back. It's all he ever does, so he sticks to it. 

 

They came back in fragments, until he was able to piece it back together and remember the cause to his agony. 

 

* * *

 

 

_"More visitors,"  The woman said harshly, a hand wrapped around a remote control that lead straight to someone tied to a chair. His eyes followed to try and find Clarke's, feeling something clench in his chest when she looks at him with pleading eyes - a gaze he remembered too well. A sight he thought he'd never see again, but he gets thrown back into reality when the woman in ragged clothing speaks again. He recognizes her as the leader of the Eligius revolution, "How lovely?"_

 

_She adds on, "I thought you didn't lie?" She turns her attention to Clarke with a tilted smile, "I thought you said it was only you."_

 

_Bellamy is still frozen in place, wrists bound behind his back. He didn't dare move._

 

_"Don't do anything please," Clarke's voice is small, and shaky. He could feel the anger start to rumble in the pit of his stomach but he fights the urge to fight against his restraints because she hasn't torn her gaze away from his and Bellamy is sure that he never wants to look at another person again after this. "Not to him, I'll do anything you want. I'll let you have the Valley." She reasons, her head hung low in defeat. "Anything to let him and my little girl free."_

 

_"He matters to you?" The woman asks curiously, her thumb hovering over the button and Bellamy wants the scream but the shock still hasn't settled. He still can't believe she was alive, and in front of him, begging for his life to be spared. "It proves my point, if you were truly by yourself why would this man mean so much to you?"_

 

_"I knew him before." She says, but it was more of a statement of her past. "Six years ago, we came down from space with our people and we lead together."_

 

_"He left you, I suppose."_

 

_"For a reason, he had to."_

 

_"Okay," The woman nods her head slowly, and she continues as the room is silent with tension. A past between two people close to exploding, too strong to deny or forget. "How do you explain the fact that he came back when you needed saving? It's rather interesting."_

 

_Clarke has to break his gaze, and she swallows thickly. He could tell that it hurt more than she showed, her face scrunching in pain and annoyance._

 

_"We never got our timing right." A simple answer for something that breaks his heart entirely, "if you let him go, you could have me and whatever other stories you want to shock out of me. Just don't hurt him because of his instincts."_

 

_Bellamy shakes his head, and he speaks the first word to a girl he hasn't seen in six years. A girl he thought had died in a rage of fire from the depths of the ground, "You can't do that."_

 

_She naturally pulls at her own restraints, her body reacting to his voice and she squirms to look at him. It sends a shock through him, and his mouth parts in shock._

 

_"I'm saving you." She mutters._

 

_"I wanna save you this time," He starts to pull his hands apart, hissing as the force on his wrists only get tighter and his skin burns. "I can't stand here and watch you argue with the same group of people who tried to kill me a few minutes ago and now -" He pauses, his eyes boring into the fear written on her face. "I can't let them hurt you."_

 

_Clarke turns to the woman beside her, begging with her chin up and pointed._

 

_"Let him go."_

 

_Bellamy is close to losing his sanity, his composure, his everything._

 

_"No."_

 

_He doesn't realize that his demand was met at the same exact time that the woman had spoken, and she snickers at him. Her attention locked on the man who wants her prisoner to be set free, and there was no way she wold let that happen. "I'm so glad we agree."_

 

_Bellamy takes a breath, his heart beating rapidly._

 

_"Two is better than one." She says, a dark gleam to her eyes as they glowed with vengeance that shouldn't be blamed on victims. "So you both are staying under I figure out what exactly I want from you."_

 

_Clarke gasps suddenly, Bellamy numb to sound as he hears the same buzzing that alarmed him previously, the same loud buzz that made him run inside with Madi's help. It creeps into every corner of the room, her whimpering and shouts of pain are the only thing he could hear - his ears start to ring with adrenaline and anger that he tried to keep bottled but failed to do so. The second he realizes that Clarke had been getting tortured right in front of him, her only motive to accept this was his existence being acknowledged, he doesn't let the guilt come to him first._

 

_He lets his body have a mind of it's own, a plan that he didn't think through._

 

_It was a plan that quickly failed._

 

_A plan he didn't think through enough._

 

_His heart in use, not his head._

 

_He breaks, and the second he elbows a guy in the face and his foot kicks backwards - he hears a gun shot._

 

_Bellamy doesn't understand why his hits are slower, weaker, less effective as he keeps trying to fight off more and more Eligius prisoners. It finally makes sense when his breathing starts to slow down, and his body hits the floor before he even had the chance to realize that he was the one who got shot._

 

* * *

 

 

 

She was the last thing he would think about at night, his mind would drift to sleep with the distant memory of her voice. 

 

When he started to forget her quirks or her smile that showed on rare occasions - it's something that he wished he would've made her do more often - he keeps himself up as he tries to dive into the deepest ends of his scattered mind to try and remember anything that could remind him. 

 

After the first year passes, it fades like the sun outside his room window. 

 

He gets into more and more fights with Raven, who keeps pressuring him into talking about her life in a good way. In her own words, _It'll make you feel better to talk about her like she isn't dead, like she is living on through casual conversations_. The only problem was that Clarke was dead, the empty space next to him was a space he would always reserve for her, and she was **still** dead. 

 

After the third year passes, he finds space in his heart to forgive his friends for everything they've done. He forgives Raven for her faults with letting Clarke go by herself to the satellite tower and her earlier accounts of emotional turmoil when she was under ALIE's control. He forgives Murphy for isolating himself from the people that care about him, forgives Monty and Harper for any little harm they've done in the world, and he forgives Echo for her list of things she's personally done to him. 

 

The warrior from Azgeda was the last residing tension he had to rid himself of, but as they grew closer, Bellamy figures out that forgiveness in a powerful thing and everyone deserves it. If he had to survive another three years in space with six other people, then so be it. He was going to love them all, and Echo just hit closer to home then he expected. She was apart of his family, and nothing would change that. 

 

Nothing would make him care less for the people he trusts more than anything, for the people who helped him survive, because they helped him get over _her_. In a time where he needed to live his life with no regrets and guilt, he felt like he accomplished that aspect well. But now, he has Clarke in front of him. 

 

She was never dead. 

 

That fact alone makes him realize that his love never died either, but buried into his heart like a secret he thought he would take to his grave. That's a problem, a very big and conflicting issue that spirals his head into madness. _It's always going to be Clarke_. Bellamy loved, sometimes he loved so hard that he lost a piece of his heart in the process, but he- 

 

He'll always care, always be there to support a woman who's been by his side through peace and pain, but _Clarke_. 

 

Clarke was someone he loved, lost, and returned to. He feels himself get pulled further and further into her orbit, her being, and her life that he becomes so curious about....and the deep thought about a certain girl with blonde hair makes his will grow stronger, _stronger_ until he feels the weight lift from his heavy eyes, _stronger_ until the light starts to pass through. He was strong, and it was because of her, because of Clarke Griffin; a girl that was never dead. 

 

Bellamy's eyes open slowly, he gasps for air to make way into his lungs and he feels like he could breathe again. Everything hurts, he's sure that his body was put through hell and back with the sharp pain in his lower back and stomach. He bites his lip hard, afraid of tasting blood for a different reason then, his neck cramping when he tries to move his arms but his left shoulder tenses so bad that he stays still. His body is rigid, as he tries to blink a few more times to allow them to adjust to the brightness in the room, and it's not what he remembered the room in the Valley had looked like. 

 

How long had he been out? 

 

It's blurry, the faces and his surroundings. 

 

His head is pounding in his skull with stress and sudden fear of not knowing where he was, but when he could finally focus- his eyes widen. 

 

There's a girl sat to his right, the warmth he feels in his right hand was probably because of interlocked fingers if he could guess correctly, and he recognizes it instantly. His eyes narrow, and he feels a calm wash over him when he could picture long brown hair, a hand that fit in his almost perfectly, followed by a firm squeeze that let him know that she was there. Beside him. Echo was right next to him, he could imagine the rush of relief that flooded her in that moment and he tried to smile. 

 

He remembers the other woman. The woman he was willing to fight for, the woman that he lost to a death wave six years prior: and he can’t help himself when he looks around the room frantically. 

 

It doesn’t take long to find her. 

 

Clarke is the corner of the room, taking caution to the couple who just got reunited after a near death experience and she tries her best to lean her weight against the metal table; the same table that she had a unconscious Bellamy on top and stable, the same table that she forced Diyoza’s hand to give her. She was dazed, her neck aches with the memory of being electrocuted and if she moves too quickly, she could feel her hands twitch. 

 

She hasn’t looked at him, afraid of facing someone who just wanted to save her from getting hurt. Like the old Bellamy she knew, the same man she tried to call for six years; and when he didn’t answer her, she **still** talked to him. 

 

Bellamy feels breathless, his head turned in her direction as Echo tries to ask him what happened, how he got hurt. But he doesn’t listen. 

 

He doesn’t like that her back is turned to him, wanting to see the face of the woman — the doctor —who saved his life. He blinks a few more times, wondering if his blood was what stained her pants and the seams of her shirt. 

 

There’s so much light shining in his eyes when he shuts them closed, squeezing Echo’s hand in his, and he makes a choice. 

 

In that moment, he says something that makes the room go silent, the tension was raw and present, alive with the truth being told. 

 

“ _Clarke_ ,” Bellamy pleads to her, voice low and gentle. A single breath, a prayer, a little bit of everything he imagined for six years. “Are you okay?” 

 

It worried him, how much she tried to compose herself when she went through so much. He could only imagine how tired she must be, how relieved that she still knows how to save a life. 

 

She turns around with her hands planted behind her, arms stiff as she looks at him with her brows furrowed. Her nose flared out, a sign she was angry, but he ignores it. Clarke tries to keep herself upright as she nods, “I’m fine, we’ve been waiting for you to get up.” 

 

She isn’t putting much effort into convincing herself, or him, but he lets herself have the satisfaction. 

 

Echo brings him back to his other reality that should be with her, somehow more tears than he anticipated filled her eyes. 

 

“The woman, her name is Diyoza and she   let Clarke take you back here,” She began to explain, “She was so dizzy and shaken up when she tried to carry you but she did it.” Echo sighs, “She saved you.” 

 

Bellamy can’t take it anymore. 

 

The guilt rushes to him this time, there’s no stopping it. 

 

He speaks, “You did this for me?” His attention only on Clarke, who turned back around to fiddle with the medical equipment that she had already washed away the dread and monsters in her head. “You saved my life, Clarke.” 

 

“Well, I’ll always do that.” She responds with a light tone, and he could see her veins pop in her neck. Like it was something he should know.  

 

“No more games, no more jokes.” Bellamy demands, “I need to talk to you.” 

 

“Not right now.” Clarke says, and he heard the exhaustion in her voice. She looked so burden heavy, like the weight he imagined in his mind earlier. She was the definition, “I need to go talk to Diyoza, and the operation took longer than I wanted. I kept shaking, and I wasn’t equipped and—“ She takes a deep breath, avoiding the subject completely with how overwhelmed she felt. 

 

“Stop,” Bellamy says, “It’s Diyoza’s fault.” 

 

The woman had a name, and its foreign passing his tongue. 

 

Clarke shakes her head as best she could, and she starts to walk away from him. “I talked too much, I should’ve stayed quiet. I waited for you to come back for so long that I cracked, it’s my fault you got shot.” 

 

He couldnt believe it, she had thought it was her fault all along? 

 

“You waited for me?” He asks softly, and Echo’s grip loosens. 

 

“Everyday.” She admits, “But it doesn’t matter.” 

 

Clarke avoids Echo’s harsh gaze, as she keeps herself steady with her hands gliding along the wall until she got to the front of the room. 

 

“Clarke,” Bellamy says, and its nothing to stop her. “ _Clarke_ ,” He repeats louder, ignoring the ache in his shoulder and his headache that grows. “Don’t go, I don’t want you to leave—“ 

 

There’s no greater pain that he feels when he watches her leave, and when Echo leaves after her, and his injury was no obstacle; he’d always put himself first over Clarke, but it was the biggest hurdle to cross over because he can’t explain anything. 

 

Shamelessly, all he wanted to do was find Clarke, he made the choice to pick her now. He just feels like a idiot because his girlfriend was right there, right next to him when the words he said after escaping a reckless death, was the name of a girl that shouldn’t matter to him. 

 

But it meant the world, everything he was robbed from or given. 

 

Clarke meant everything to him, and he isn’t letting go now, not without a fight. 


End file.
